I know you thought your postpartum experience would look very different. You thought you would be happier and more at ease.
When I was pregnant I was happily naive, having no idea what was to come. If I’m being honest, I felt like a bomb went off, bringing my baby home.
I wasn’t in love or bonded with my daughter, like I had seen in all the movies or commercials. Breastfeeding was incredibly challenging, not knowing if I was doing it right. Then she had acid reflux, so feedings involved screaming for her and so much stress for me.
I remember being in the shower, sobbing, thinking how awful this whole experience has been and then feeling so much guilt that I wasn’t happy, and at the time, feeling like I was the only one who felt this way after having a baby. I know now I wasn’t. If you’re relating to this, you are not alone.
This is really hard stuff and chances are no one prepared you.
You're not ill and you're not defective, you're human, and you can find your way back to you.
Marissa Zwetow, LMFT
Postpartum Therapist and Coach